I am in love with P. We have been together for over a year and I feel it every day.
I know A cares a great deal for me- more than he should. I know that it will be both exciting and dangerous to be in his care for awhile...

I can't wait.

I know T still has residual feelings for me. Mine for him have faded, but I will always care about what he thinks and how he feels. I hate that we are not talking. I hate it. I just want to hug him, cry into his shirt, and tell him I'm not sorry for what I said, but for how I said it. He is delicate.

P is so oblivious. I'm so sorry. I love you. I promise that I have done nothing to threaten us.

I don't know that I want to get into a lot of detail about my life or the things I've gone through. I'm so tired of painful redundancy. I need to stop being so damn paranoid. I want to go to a gynecologist for the first time, I want a regular doctor to get checkups at and to resolve my problems, I want a dentist, too. But we are so broke and cannot afford any of that, and I'm tired of having to involve my parents so that they can fund for stuff. There is a sore spot on the inside of my thigh and it drives me nuts when it is irritated. It itches now and then and I hate it.

Yesterday was so bad. I almost left. I was packing my bags.

But we're okay.